is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You are the jesus of drinking
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize