So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
