She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
