she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
