pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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