Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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