Whod you bang
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
