Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
