I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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