My room smells like vodka and shame
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
