I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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