Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
