So many bounce houses so little time
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
