He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
