Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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