How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
