I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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