jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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