I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
