I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
