Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
