Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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