operation harelip BJ is a go
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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