Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize