So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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