She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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