He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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