i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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