two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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