Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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