Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
