I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
