I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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