thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
