I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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