I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if only i could text you this smell
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
