conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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