when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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