How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
