So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
