thus making me awesome and them whores
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
