my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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