I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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