1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
