'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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