once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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