Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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