Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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