what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
