are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
