3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize