I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
