I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
