he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
