I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
