We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
