I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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