i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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