I seem to have left my pride at pride
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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