So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
