I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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