My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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