Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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