Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
