So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
