I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
