apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
